From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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