And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
