Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
