We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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