So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
