when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
