I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
