we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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