she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
