this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dick very happy bro
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
