I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize