Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wear drunk well.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
