Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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