Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
