The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
