I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize