you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
