his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
