Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
