Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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