dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
