I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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