imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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