dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
