We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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