I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize