Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
