Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
