My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
