I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
