i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
