sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need water and some morals
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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