Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
