those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize