she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
