the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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