Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
