oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
