...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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