But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
