chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
