I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
