brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
