his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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