just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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