i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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