I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
