I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
