Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
