Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
