shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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