.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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