Sponge bath it is.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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