a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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