i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
