went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
