Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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