I puked a lego.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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