My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
my poor anus
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
