i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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